Toasted with a side of butter

Let's take care of our bottoms, alright? I mean, in this kink of ours, they are a pretty major focus. And as much "abuse" as mine takes, I like it to feel soft, look smooth, and be well-admired. I want my bottom to be toasted, with a side of butter.

There's this product that I use. It is a-ma-zing. Origins makes an exfoliator called "Incredible Spreadable Scrub" and comes in several tantalizing scents. The one I prefer? Ginger. (They also make a fabulous line of ginger souffle lotion and bath creams.) Use it with a mesh poof (what ARE those things called?) for maximum effect.

Word to the wise, throw that mesh poof out after a week and get a new one. They are breeding grounds for bacteria so it would kind of defeat the purpose to have them hanging around for too long. (And you can get them at any dollar store for...a dollar.)

Having a smooth, soft bottom is my personal invitation for him to stay awhile. Even after last night's ministrations (there was more spanking following my discipline), my bottom is soft and pliable and ready for more. Hello, Saturday!

Eggs with a side of vibe

One of these days, I'll introduce you to my two friends with whom I occasionally breakfast and discuss kinky happenings, but not today. On the latest get-together, we bopped down to the adult toy store and spent about an hour wading through corsets, thigh-highs, and vibrators.

As we made our way to the cash register, I found myself empty-handed but full of ideas for my next purchases. And then I saw it -- nestled in a little container next to the register was this thumb-sized vibrator attached to a cord. It's called the "Promise finger ring" by Evolved. And it came in pink. But did it have power?

Soon the saleslady was demonstrating the vibe action for us, showing the variable speeds and functions that were controlled by a button on the ring at the end of the cord. Small, quietly powerful and versatile, this bullet would be perfect for a discreet public orgasm. Sold!

Empty-handed no longer, I tucked my purchase inside my purse and waited for the perfect moment to try it out.

That moment happened about a half-an-hour later; willpower has never been my strong suit. And my mind wandered to other uses for it. How would it feel to be spanked while this bullet pulsed away? Could it work its magic for both my partner and I while he was inside me? What if I put it there instead of here?

The answers: blissful, oh yeah, and WOW!

Ryder Pink Pearl

I love it. I have it with me usually all of the time now. During a particularly hectic day at work, I'll excuse myself and when I return to my desk, I find I am much more centered, balanced and able to think clearly. I could be becoming addicted! ha!

(Thanks to Submissive Baby Girl for this review!)

Implements that grow on trees

Plucked fresh from the tree and given to my sub to remove the leaves and smooth the bark as best she could, was the birch switch from this past weekend.

When she was finished, I ordered her pants down and, after snugging her panties up her crack, gave her 3 medium swats that left crossing red lines across her cheeks.

I let it age overnight and the next morning retrieved it from its resting spot. All covered with dew, I tested its flexibility with a few strikes through the air and the supple bending was proof that the morning lines would soon be forthcoming.

Willows are plentiful where I live so its a real treat to trim a fresh white branch from the forest tree and put it to use immediately. With a little extra effort, you can make use of several irregular-shaped branches by tying them into a bundle for a real birching experience. Set a few of the straighter branches aside for your sub to pluck clean while making your bundle.

For those of us who don't yet have a woodshed to march our submissive too, a brisk walk through the woods with a fist full of hair is a healthy outdoor experience with fun for all.

(Thanks to Command for his entry! And I might question the "fun for all" sentiment. Artwork by Endart.)

Liberty of London babydoll & garter belt

Tired of the overplayed slut route? (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) Want something fresh and innocent and sexy to wow your partner?

Then try this. This set is from Target so you could even purchase it in the presence of grandma, although the garter belt and thong might make it a little too racy for anyone with heart palpitations.

It's cute. It's pretty. It's well made. And it was met with high acclaim.

I bought the babydoll, garter belt and matching thong for $40. Pair it with thigh highs, and you've got yourself a look that will match your claims of innocence.

Don't expect to be believed; I certainly wasn't. Where would the fun be in that?

Thumper!

No, it’s not a character from a Disney movie, it’s an extraordinary professional level vibrator.

While most vibrators are designed for insertion into sensitive areas, Thumper can be used from head to toes. Well, maybe not the head but certainly from the neck down.

I’ve had mine for several years and I pull it out of its handy storage bag anytime that I need the comfort of its magic. Thumper is the finest machine I’ve found for deep tissue massage. Feeling a little sore from that pick up football game with the relatives this holiday? Over-use some muscles helping a good friend move? Feeling a little stiff from that long ride or flight back home? Then Thumper is almost instant relief for those tired and aching body parts.

But wait, there’s more! Used carefully in those spots that are always sensitive, Thumper can provide hours of fun and the dual heads mean you can double your pleasure too!

(Review submitted by Command. Thank you!)

Hitachi Magic Wand (answer is in the question...MAGIC)

Since the purchase of my very first vibrator, I've been searching for the perfect addition to my collection. While not perfect, as it doesn't jump out of the bedside drawer on its own, the Hitachi Magic Wand is pretty damn close.

Only have a few minutes to achieve toe-curling bliss? Not a problem. This powerful toy works on me, with my history of delayed orgasm, before I can even get comfortable on the bed.

And whichever doctor made the claim that the g-spot is a myth never experienced the attachments that come with this vibrator. Holy wow! You can feel the orgasm in your teeth.

This vibrator is also wonderful with a partner, or while being restrained and tormented.

My complaints? It's rather loud so discretion is nearly impossible. And, at times, it can be TOO powerful, even on the lowest setting. But you can purchase a speed controller to vary the power of the vibrator, although I have not tested that so I can't guarantee its effect.

Anyway, I consider this vibrator to be one of the better gifts I've given myself in a long time. There's a reason you see it used in porn videos: IT WORKS!

County Whips...don't stop the crop

In the past, I'd always been somewhat hesitant in embracing the thinner, whippier implements such as the crop, cane, and switch.

But recently I was paid a surprise visit by a crop.

I can safely say that I have met my match. I may have a high tolerance; I may be stingy with the tears; I may display a false bravada. But this crop was the great equalizer, and was not even administered with much force.

Did I love it? I am loathe to love it. So, that's a "yes, Sir".

You can purchase yours at: http://www.countywhips.uk.com/.

This is a child's riding crop, measuring an approximate 24" of leather-bound glory.

It creates a lovely sound while cutting through the air and lands with a resounding zing on the backside.

It can be quite painful, so be forewarned. Full force is only necessary under the direst of circumstances. But it can also add a little fun to the toybox, an interesting shake-up to your routine.

I highly recommend this for the uninitiated looking to dabble with their more experienced partners.

Open for submission

I'm just one woman. And I have limited time and funding...but, wow, I love testing new products and implements. Fun stuff like dildos and paddles and restraints and vibrators and kink wear.

If you have a product that you absolutely loved (or hated) send me a review and a link to the product. Be sure to tell me if you would like to remain anonymous or if you'd like to post under your google id (include your blog link, too, if you have one).

Sidenote: I am a grammar and spelling snob. So if I see obvious grammatical or spelling issues, I will be using my red pen to correct them. No offense intended!

Email your reviews to: thepinkreviews@gmail.com

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